What?
by 0lizzybennet0
Summary: Merlin and Arthur wake up in odd circumstances -not slash-
1. Chapter 1

**Woah. Since when have plot bunnies started resembling the bunny from Holy Grail? I was just calmly sitting there thinking how epically I was failing that maths test, and the bunny sank its teeth into my ankle.**

Something tickled Merlin's nose, he inhaled and promptly choked. Coughing violently he screwed his face up unhappily and swiped his hands feebly across his face. There was a heavy weight laying across his stomach, extending one hand he shoved at it and it simply rocked slightly before staying. Cracking open one eye, Merlin peered blearily at the room, wincing and looking away as a light shone across the room. With a squint and a hand pressed to his forehead he blinked several times, the look of unfocussed uncertainty slowly draining from his face. It was replaced with an expression of pure bewilderment. A feather gently floated through the air and settled on his nose. The figure laying across him stirred, mouth hanging open as he dribbled onto the mattress.

'Arthur?' Merlin's voice was a dry croak. The prince snored, ruffling the feathers tangled through his hair. Shredded pillows littered the whole room, furniture overturned with clothes strewn everywhere. Suddenly it hit Merlin, he was laying on the future king's bed. With the future king sprawled sideways over him. Arthur gave a particularly drawn out snore and hugged Merlin's leg to him. Starting, Merlin flung himself upright, upsetting prince and feathers in the process. Arthur's mouth hung open as he rolled limply down Merlin's legs.

'A-' Merlin reached forward hurriedly as Arthur disappeared off the edge with a loud clatter. The foot remaining on the bed twitched slightly. Merlin shut one eye, pressed his hand to his head and dragged his way over to the side of the bed. Two wide unfocussed blue eyes stared up at him.

'Wha-' Arthur rasped, swallowing before trying again, 'what happened?'

Merlin stared down at Arthur's crumpled form, 'I have absolutely no idea.'

'Right,' Arthur stared with wide eyes. There was a pause. 'Where am I?'

'Your bedroom.'

'Right,' Arthur repeated hoarsely, 'of course.'

Neither was really sure what to say.

'Why am I on the floor?'

'You fell off the bed.'

Arthur pulled a face and spat out something soggy and white, 'Why are there feathers?'

'I don't know.'

'Did we kill a chicken?' He rasped.

'Perhaps several.'

'Really?'

'I don't know.'

'Was I drinking?'

Merlin's head throbbed, Arthur's bloodshot eyes fixed on him. 'It's possible.'

With a pained groan Arthur let his other leg drop loudly to the floor, Merlin moaned at the noise. 'Wait,' Arthur seized the covers and clawed his way onto the bed, 'I th-' he stopped with a frown, looking up at Merlin with a baffled and horrified expression, 'why am I wearing a corset?'

'I have no idea,' Merlin said honestly.

'And why are you in my bed?'

**Short start**


	2. Not What It Looks Like

'Right,' Arthur tugged impatiently at the corset strings, '_no one_ is going to know about this. Help me,' he ordered.

'What?' Merlin weakly shielded his face from the light of the candles.

'This_ thing_,' Arthur shook the strings, 'get it off me.'

'I don't know how.'

'Merlin, that was an order!' Arthur looked affronted; pointing his finger threateningly, corset creaking as he moved.

Merlin bit back a laugh at Arthur's expression, coupled with the item wrapped around him. 'I wonder why you put it on,' Merlin mused.

'I obviously didn't put it on, you twit,' Arthur was regaining his superior manner, 'someone put it on me.'

'Who'd want to put a corset on the crown prince?' Merlin fought with the desire to sleep.

'Do you think I would know?' Arthur demanded indignantly.

Struggling with the laces, Merlin frowned and pulled at them, ignoring the protesting hiss from Arthur. 'Maybe it's something at the front,' Merlin peered over his chest.

'What does this do?' Arthur muttered and gripped something, pulling impatiently.

'Do you have a knife?'

'It's too tight to use a knife, and certainly not one you're holding.'

'Well,' Merlin sat back, 'You're going to have to get it off somehow. White isn't your colour.'

'Gwen,' Arthur said, not listening, 'You can go and ask Gwen how to take a corset off,' drumming his fingers thoughtfully against the corset, Arthur turned to look expectantly at Merlin, 'What are you waiting for?' He jerked his head towards the door.

**MmM  
**'She can't tell me,' Merlin announced as he flung the door open.

'Merlin! Don't you knock?'

Merlin stopped and looked over the destroyed room, 'Could it be any worse than this?'

'What did she say then?' Arthur flung a sock at Merlin, 'It's yours,' he added.

'It's not mine.'

'Well it's not mine.'

They both stared at the bright blue sock.

'Well,' Merlin threw the sock aside, 'Gwen just looked at me then started laughing.'

'Understandable.'

There was a silence as Merlin looked pointedly at Arthur's torso.

'And that was all? How did you ask her, you must have said something stupid.'

Swiping a clump of roses off the table, Merlin propped himself up, 'You can ask someone how to take off a corset without sounding stupid? I didn't even ask anything, she just started laughing then she choked and ran away.'

'Urgh,' a plume of feathers rose up as Arthur flopped backwards on the bed. 'What day is it anyway?'

'I don't know.'

'Time?'

'Not sure. There's a storm so it looks dark anyway.'

'That's it,' Arthur hauled himself to his feet, wincing and clutching his head momentarily, 'we'll have to find Gwen again. I'll swear her to silence.'

'We?'

'We. You're involved in this somehow, Merlin, and you're going to fix it. Give me my shirt.'

Merlin selected a red shirt from under the table, brushed the feathers and some dried berries off it then handed it over. Arthur shrugged it on over his corset, holding his arms out and looking questioningly at Merlin. Merlin just shook his head.

'What?' Arthur looked down.

'You've,' Merlin gestured at Arthur's chest, 'it-well'

'I what?' Arthur demanded with a edge of worry.

'It, the top bit, well it sort of- sticks out.'

**MmM  
**Arthur staggered out of the door, drawing himself up with dignity before tottering down the hallway. A maid stared at him, then quickly averted her eyes and hurried past.

'Merlin,' Arthur ran a hand through his hair, feathers floating down, 'something definitely happened last night.'

'You are covered in a sheet,' Merlin reminded him.

'No, I get the feeling last night was very important,' the sheet trailed along the floor as the pair hurried through the castle.

'We have to go through the centre of the castle, don't we?' Merlin picked an irritating rose petal out from down his neck.

'Well you can't be trusted to bring Gwen to me, so yes.'

'I might have an idea,' Merlin said hesitantly.

**MmM  
**Servants stopped and stared as a strange shape pelted down the hallway. Uther frowned as a billowing white object flapped speedily past him, the patter of numerous feet echoing around it before it disappeared in a fluttering move around the corner.

'Guards!' He pointed after it and commanded.

**MmM  
**'Wh-?' Gwen turned around in surprise as a mobile sheet breezed through the doorway.

'Quick!' Arthur ripped the sheet off, tangling his legs and Merlin in it as he stripped out of his shirt. 'Get it off!' He gestured frantically at the corset. 'I'm ordering!' He said desperately as Gwen looked away, hand pressed firmly to her mouth and shoulders shaking.

'Hold still,' she fetched a pair of scissors and hesitantly approached the future king of Camelot.

'Just _cut_!' Arthur said feverishly. With a muffled laugh she cut up the sides of the corset, stopping to snip firmly at one section.

'Open up!' A pounding started on the door. Merlin, Arthur and Gwen tried to scramble for the other door. With a muffled curse, Arthur tripped over Merlin's foot and they both went down, Gwen reached the door just as the other door burst open.

'In the na-' the guard stopped dead as the other guards looked over his shoulder.

'It-it's not what it looks like,' Arthur said in defeat.

The guards stared at Prince Arthur, tangled up in a sheet, lying on top of his manservant, wearing a shredded corset.

**MmM**

'Arthur,' Uther surveyed his son and leaned his head against his fingertips.

'I'm sorry, father,' Arthur stood regally, corset and sheet draped over him.

'You can not expect me to allow you to behave like this. Drinking to excess is not excusable when it produces these results. This is not just your reputation, this is the reputations of Camelot, _think_ about how this could look! And after last night,' Uther trailed off, shaking his head.

**I'm aiming to make this story about the pair trying to figure out exactly what happened the night before, and the things that happen along the way^^**


	3. Shredded Pillows

I am,' Merlin smacked something down on the table, 'the best manservant.'

'Really?' Arthur asked boredly. Merlin just spun a pair of scissors around his finger with a smile. An answering smile spread across Arthur's face, 'You got the scissors after Gwen? Well done, perhaps you are capable of independent action.'

Merlin snipped the scissors threateningly and Arthur gave him a rare grin.

MmMmM

'So,' Arthur tapped a finger against his chin thoughtfully, 'I must have done something rather embarrassing last night to get that reaction, which means,' he swung his legs onto the table, 'that it's your fault too.'

'My fault?' Merlin coughed, 'How does that work out?'

Arthur spread his hand, 'If I, by some strange happening, did something worthy of embarrassment it would have been your duty to stop me. And if not, more likely, then it was your idea.'

'Well, actually,' Merlin leaned forward over the table, 'Morgana said to me that she wished to congratulate you on your bravery at the feast last night.' He raised an eyebrow.

'In that case, it was my idea. There was a feast?'

'Apparently.'

With a sigh, Arthur stretched out his legs pensively, knocking a metal pot off the table, 'I was brave at a feast? What did I do? Eat an entire cow?'

'She also said,' Merlin hesitated, 'that is was very stupid to accept the duel. Brave, but foolish.'

'Duel?' Arthur started upright, 'a _duel_?'

'That's what she said while you were in with the King.'

'What sort of feast was this?! Don't hold anything back from me, Merlin, I will find out.'

'I wish you would,' he sat on the table, 'because I want to know what happened. Are you calm?'

Arthur looked up in disgusted surprise, 'You're asking me if I'm _calm_?'

'Because,' Merlin hedged.

'Spit it out,' Arthur smacked him upside the head.

'Morgana wants to know if you've seen her corset, because it's missing. And a note in your handwriting was left in her room, saying "sorry, borrowing. Important". And one of her chairs was destroyed, legs missing, you're blamed.'

Arthur choked, '_What?_'

Merlin just grinned.

'You. Come with me. Now,' Arthur seized his jacket on the way out the door.

MmMmMmM

'You could just ask one of your guards to tell you. Or Gwen.'

'I think we will both agree that _my_ way is better. There hasn't been much success with yours.' The pair cautiously made their way down to the kitchens.

'How often do you go to the kitchens?' Merlin hastily positioned himself between the door and Arthur.

'Occasionally.' Merlin made no move. 'Merlin, it's not that suspicious, I have been down before! Once or twice,' he shrugged.

'You don't think that, maybe, this might look slightly odd? Out of the ordinary?'

'I can be subtle,' Arthur elbowed Merlin out of the way and flung open the door. Everyone stopped in surprise. 'Erm,' Arthur coughed importantly and clasped his hands behind his back, 'greetings, kitchen servants.' There was silence. 'On behalf of the crown, I wish to thank you for the,' he paused, 'excellent feast last night. It was most…remarkable.' There was a rustle as everyone bowed. 'And most fitting to the occasion which it was for,' he continued, an edge of hope in his voice.

Merlin slipped through the crowd as Arthur continued to draw it out behind. 'Excuse me,' he muttered to a young girl, 'but what was the feast for last night?'

'Prince Arthur's birthday,' she whispered, giving him a strange look.

'Ah, of course, thank you.'

'Wait,' the girl hissed as he made to leave, 'you didn't miss it, did you?'

'Ah-' he began.

'Prince Arthur fought in a duel, against the fiercest knight in the land!'

'He did?'

'With his bare hands! And no armour! And he won!'

'Right, that's good. Thanks,' Merlin smiled and threaded his way back through the crowd, leaving a puzzled girl behind him.

'Again, thank you,' Arthur said desperately before leaving, Merlin trailing after him.

'Your way, Sire?' Merlin said politely.

'Shut up, Merlin.'

'It was your birthday feast.'

'My _what_? How do you know? Merlin,' a threatening finger stabbed at his chin, 'if you're making this up.'

'Definitely your birthday,' Merlin dodged away, 'I asked. My way. Congratulations, by the way.'

Rubbing his head distractedly, the prince started walking. 'How can I forget that?' He halted, Merlin smacking into his back, 'Watch where you're going,' he said absently before moving again. 'Why don't I remember? And why was I borrowing Morgana's corset? On my _birthday?_' He shook his head, continuing the walk in silence.

'I suppose this means I'll have to get you a present.'

'Oh, yes, definitely.'

'Anything particular in mind?'

'New jacket? The rats got my favourite one.'

'Brown or red?'

'Red.'

They walked in silence. 'Oh,' Merlin added thoughtfully, 'you also fought a duel against the fiercest knight in the land. And won. With your bare hands.'

MmMmMmM

'No cuts? Bruises? Anything?' Arthur held his arms out.

Merlin paced around him, 'No, nothing.'

'Are you _sure_? Don't keep any little secrets from me. Again.'

'Nothing, absolutely nothing. '

With an unsatisfied snort Arthur pulled his shirt back on and toyed absently with a feather. 'Why the feathers?' He mused, 'They are from pillow cases, aren't they?' He didn't wait for a reply, 'See if you can find any pillow cases under this,' a vague hand waved, 'mess.'

'You need at least two man servants,' Merlin muttered as he shifted through piles of loose jackets.

'Why?'

Merlin gestured at his own dust and feather covered body, and looked pointedly at the ransacked room.

'You're the worst manservant I've ever had, I can't risk it getting worse with another one.'

Merlin shook his head and moved back to the mess, Arthur chuckled behind him and he smiled. 'Pillow,' he announced finally, and threw it at the Prince.

'Manners, Merlin.'

'Pillow, Sire,' Merlin said as he threw the next one at Arthur's head. A disgruntled blonde head moved out from under it, eyes squinted at a long rent in the fabric.

'It's ripped, looks like,' Arthur stuck a curious finger through it and wiggled it at Merlin, 'it's been cut with a knife. Or a sword. We chopped up pillows?'

'You were wearing a corset, does it surprise you?'

'Is that what you're supposed to do when wearing a corset?'

'I wouldn't know, I'm not a girl.'

'Merlin,' Arthur said acidly, 'go away. Do something useful, go interrogate Gwen or something. Find out where this duel took place.'


End file.
